Life as an Extreme Sport

modernity and the war on drugs

A quick entry (although I have a backlog of topics to write on, lucky me) before I lose the thought to my fried short term memory:

One of the reasons the so-called war on drugs never achieved its goals of stopping drug use is that it was fighting a war without an opponent. This is not to say that there was no opposition, but that those dealing in the drug trade were operating on such a different level than the government, the analogy of books and pages and even libraries becomes meaningless. The government’s war on drugs is a decidedly modernist conception, a vertical column of rigid infrastructure that they expected their opposition to also adhere to. By contrast, those trading in drugs are following a more horizontal organizational style, focusing on distributed systems and cell based communications – all very postmodern. By framing their offensive on a modernist conception of reality, the government locked itself in to a method of behaviour that virtually guaranteed failure.

Architecture is the Choreography of Our Connectivity

Phillip Thurtle, (the last time you will probably see me use his last name), can take pleasure in knowing at least one person actually listened when he said “someone should write that down, that was good!” – someone did, and it was good, if obscure out of context, and has now been immortalized on the glorious internet as the title of my first “serious” post. After my original, and if I do say, quite charming, post, I’ve hit a bit of writer’s block. There is, after all, serious pressure on my part to live up to the clever wit I demonstrated. Then again, this is what has kept me from writing a few papers that are at this point well overdue – the basic fear (or knowledge, take your pick) that I can’t top something, be it myself or expectation, and so why bother.

That insecurity out of the way, let’s get started on 370. I’ve spent most of today reading the first few chapters of David Harvey’s The Condition of Postmodernity, and will have two posts following this (not immediately, but at some point) solely on that subject. This post, however, will find us backtracking to last Wednesday and the first day of class.

Phillip spent the first class introducing us to his method of teaching (energic, especially with the consumption of an energy bar prior to class), the idea of reading as an extreme sport (a-ha, you note the homage now), and an introduction to the idea of postmodernity through definition of modernity and the odd use of Jeff Koons’ porcelain, gold-gilt, life-sized sculpture of Michael Jackson and Bubbles, which resides in San Francisco’s Museum of Modern Art. Phillip used this gold giver-of-nightmares to start off a discussion on modernity and postmodernity because if we think that this is a serious, stern piece of art, it’s rather scary and something of an abomination. But if we tilt our head to the side and take a step back, perhaps unfocusing our eyes a little in the process, the sculpture turns into an ironic commentary on both Michael Jackson and our culture as a whole. It goes from being a looming horror to something accessible through irony and humour, which could be a direct corrollary to how post-modernity sees itself in relation to modernity. Using a medium traditionally relegated to a grandmother’s collection of kitsch simply emphasizes the surface nature of the piece; there is no depth, nothing substantial. It’s merely a reproduction, although a reproduction of what is a valid question to ask.

The slideshow moved on to pictures by photographer Cindy Sherman, who’s probably best known for her artistic, photographic reproductions of movie stills. She accurately recreates a still scene from a movie, and then places herself in the role, pose, position of the star she’s mimicing. It’s another take on the concept of art and reproduction, and she goes from glamour-puss to pin-up to images that are truly not work safe (so clickylinky at your own risk).

Two other artists were also shown in the slideshow, and I wanted to mention (of all of them) Mark Tansey for his truly amazing art that’s stayed with me since class. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find either of the pictures shown in class, which is a pity as they were really fascinating. The one that’s been somewhat glued to my mental projection screen was one of a man walking into, being absorbed by, a blue-black wall of text; all that’s left is a bit of calf and foot. Phillip rather accurately used this image to describe what going into any class heavy on literary theory and historicism is like – you’re being eaten alive by a conversation that was started fifteen years and innumerable beers before you, and you’ve to catch up and make your contribution in a short span of weeks. It’s what 390 felt like over the summer, as a matter of fact… anyhow, it was a great image. Alas, I couldn’t find it. But I did find this, Derrida Queries De Man, which I find almost as engrossing, and quite a bit funnier.

I hadn’t meant this to turn into an art criticism and explanation post; as a matter of fact, I had wanted to talk a bit about some notes I took on nature being considered “the other,” and how by creating that other the whole of the Enlightenment can be defined. By giving a singular, umbrella name to a gloriously broad and diverse concept, Enlightenment thinkers anthropomorphized and created a foe for Man; Man was defined as against this other of Nature. Which, I think, is an interesting idea, although I would be pressed to argue that the anthropomorphization of Nature existed long before the Enlightenment; we can see it in many aboriginal religions. The difference with the Enlightenment thinkers was their desire to place Man above and in opposition to Nature; she was a force to be tamed (and I don’t believe it coincidence that Nature is portrayed as a she). But, and partly related to this last sidenote, I think it important to remember that the Enlightenment thinkers were attempting to step out of and move past the shadow of religion, and religion very much held that man dominated nature. I think it was less so in so-called premodern times, especially compared to the fundamentalist sects of today, but the idea existed. The Enlightenment thinkers, those who existed in the era we begin defining as modern (largely by their works), were looking for a way to justify their position in the “natural order” without relying on theology to do so. There was no reason to discard the concept of man being separate from nature as a controlling factor in religion, merely to remove religion from holding the reigns of control. So while Man might be a concept formed against Nature, I do not believe Nature was a concept formed against Man.

Genesis

The Beginning

1 In the beginning the blog was created.
2 Now the blog was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the spirit hovered.
3 And she said, “Let there be text,” and there was text. 4 She saw that the text was good, and she separated the text from the example. 5 She called the text “Academia as an Extreme Sport,” and the example she called “trashed” And there was a full trashcan, and there was text-the first hour.
6 And she said, “Let there be an expanse between the text to separate text from comment.” 7 So she made the expanse and separated the comment under the expanse from the text above it. And it was so. 8 She called the expanse “comments” for she could not figure out how to edit it otherwise. And there was the ability to comment, and there was text-the second hour.
9 And she said, “Let the image under the text be gathered to one place, and let an appealing image appear.” And it was so. 10 She called the image “default” and the gathered image she called “a template.” And she saw that it was good.
11 Then she said, “Let the author produce words: properly punctuated and grammatically correct sentences forming a coherant whole, largely commenting on the learning experience at a well-respected public university.” And it was so. 12 The author produced words: properly punctuated and grammatically correct sentences forming a coherant whole, largely commenting on the learning experience at a well-respected public university. And she saw that it was good. 13 And there was the ability to comment, and there was text-the third hour.
14 And she said, “Let there be words in the expanse of the body to separate the blog from the LiveJournal, and let them serve as signs that indicate this is a course requirement that has been taken a step further, 15 and let them be words in the expanse of the text to give light on the motivation.” And it was so. 16 She made two great blogs-the greater text to govern the day and the lesser text to govern the night. She also made a personal GreyMatter blog, but couldn’t get the RSS feed to work. 17 She set them in the expanse of her website to give light on the motivation, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And she saw that it was good. 19 And there was the ability to comment, and there was text-the fourth hour.
20 And she said, “Let the Miscellanea teem with living creatures, and let links lie to the side next to the expanse of the text.” 21 So she created the great links of the Miscellanea, the blogs with which the internet teems, according to their kinds, And she saw that it was good. 22 She blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the internet with intelligence and bring me humour during the day.” 23 And there was the ability to comment, and there was text-the fifth hour.
24 And she said, “Let the categories produce a way of filing according to their kinds: CHID 370, the cultural impact of information technology, CHID 390, the interpretation of texts and culture, MHE 401, the history of medicine, Statistics 220, basic statistics, and more to come, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 She made the categories according to their kinds. And she saw that it was good.
26. She saw all that she had made, and it was very good. And there was the ability to comment, and there was text-the sixth hour.
27. Thus the blog was completed in all its vast array.
28. By the seventh hour she had finished the work she had been doing; so on the seventh hour she rested from all her work. 3 And she blessed the seventh hour and made it holy, because on it she rested from all the work of creating that she had done.

bardo

Om mani padme hum
Om ami dewa hrih
Om vajra sattva hum

A a ha sha sa ma

I bow to the jewel in the lotus
Diety of endless light
May you open the gates of samsara
And purify her life

the pain that you feel only can heal by living

Analogies and anecdotes function as mini-narratives set against a shared meta-narrative. Combined with metaphor, they allow us to quickly link ideas to a familiar, grounded and shared place. …why yes, I am in school this quarter, why do you ask?

No, there’s actually a thought and point to this, which is:
Going to the dentist is an almost universal experience for all of us reading this. Almost everyone has, at one time, had a shot of novicane and felt the prick and pain, and then a few minutes later, the numbness. It’s been my experience that the numbness is typically there a minute or three before you notice it; it creeps up on you. You’re aware it’s going to happen, but when your gum does go numb and you realize it, there’s still a small jolt of surprise.

I’ve realized recently that I’ve been numb, and I’ve had that small jolt of surprise in the realization. There have certainly been enough moments of pain in the last while that it’s not a surprise, and I think part of me was expecting it, but to realize that I have been is still something of a shock. I think what’s more surprising is realizing that I’m coming out of the numbness as I realize the numbness itself.

I’m feeling again, feeling alive and creative and energetic. I want to write and make music and sing, see friends and laugh and hug and have contact. I’m dreaming of the future, of degrees, homes, places to go, people I’ll meet and that I want to meet. Of what I want in a mate, should that opportunity ever arise.

I guess this means I’m moving on. It still hurts, and I still feel raw. I’m angry about a lot of things, things that were said to me about me, about other people, things that were done and not done. But I see a life ahead of me that will be good, because I will make it good.

A few of you are going to laugh and nod and think it’s all because of one thing – one person. Maybe, but I think I’m only noticing that person because I’m unfurling myself. I’m talking to people about how I feel when I feel it; when I’m hurt, angry, sad, or giddy and silly and flirty and electric. I’m seeing that people do mean it when they say they’re there. I’m seeing people genuinely light up and smile when they see me out and about, feeling comfortable to just drop in on friends – if all these things hadn’t been slowly building up and happening over the last while, I don’t think I would have even noticed the potential in front of me.

The pain that you feel only can heal by living.

Is there a point, beyond vague references and commenting about feeling better? Of course; I seem to have needed to hit this particular point before I was able, ready to say “send me the paperwork and I’ll sign it.” But I did, and I will, and I will continue to heal by living.