Life as an Extreme Sport

Setting, Scene

Setting: Howard Johnson motel room, time: 05:00am PST.

Tracy: [rolls out of bed, mumbles]
Kelly: [makes vague gestures of “I heard you” and rolls onto other side]

Fade to black, as Kelly drifts back to bad sleep.

SUDDENLY! Alarms, noise, as much noise as can be mustered! Kelly shoots straight up in bed, looking around in wide eyed panic. Noise dims as she wakes up, and she realizes it’s coming from a small corner of the room – it’s her sister’s phone. Acting as an alarm.

Kelly debates throwing a pillow at the alarm, but figures her sister set it thus for a reason, and is simply in the bathroom.

Kelly lays back down, drifts slowly off to sleep again. Lights dim and the alarm fades…


Kelly gets out of bed, rounds the corner, and realizes she is in an empty motel room. She finds the phone, and opens it up. It continues making the most obnoxious noise mechanically possible. Kelly is rather confounded by the vast array of buttons and other options, and desperately tries to convince it to SHUT UP!

The phone is finally silent, but Kelly can’t tell if she did something to make it shush, or if it just snoozed again.

Dressed in blue plaid flannel pants and matching Eeyore top, Kelly marches out to the hotel lobby, where her sister is on the free computer.

Kelly [growling]: I am not amused.
Tracy [puzzled, looks up]
Kelly: How the fuck do you turn your alarm off? Or would you like me to just snap it in half, the better to justify replacing it to Dad?


Later, setting: car, driving to house to check on animals.

Tracy [gasping as they round the corner to the blacked out block]: Is that-?
Kelly [gasps as well]: Oh my – do they?