Life as an Extreme Sport

disturbing thoughts at 2am

I can dose myself with enough medications that I stop coughing – a useful trick. Except then I get worried and stressed about not coughing, and end up being too afraid to sleep. My logic (I use the term somewhat loosely) runs like this: when we’re sick, we cough to clear our throats/lungs. In my specific case right now, it’s to clear the trachea of phlegm and attempt to increase breathing space (as the tissue is badly inflamed). The combination of phlegm and inflammation means I don’t have a lot of free space for air to pass, and I’m afraid – the root of being hesitant to sleep – that I’ve sedated my coughing reflex well enough that I won’t cough when I need to, and I’ll suffocate.

Aren’t I cheerful when I’m sick and medicated?