Life as an Extreme Sport

Author: Kelly

posting bender

Academics, AMBI, ASBH 2007, Bioethics

As I’ve mentioned in one of these blogs, ASBH has my mind going a mile a minute, and I’ve literally been unable to sleep. My 7:30am meeting ought to be charming. For that matter, so should the 8:30pm one… but, as wiser people than me have said, that is what this conference is all about.

So, I went on a bit of a posting bender – posted here, obviously, but also posted the following, which may be of interest to some of you:

At the Women’s Bioethics Blog, I posted about misogyny in the movies, and furthered the question of women as scapegoats.

Over at the AJOBlog, I posted about an an aspirin a day possibly not being beneficial to women, as well as potentially harmful (due to its tendency to irritate the stomach, etc), as well as a rather startling story abouta health clinic inside a Portland, Maine middle school offering prescription contraceptives to the students without parental consent or notification.

And of course, my own blog was, thanks to a certain UK academic, updated about Deborah Kerr’s death.

It’s now 5:20am, and I’m going to place myself back in bed (curse this hotel for not having wifi in room – I have to sit at a desk and be wired to be online! What’s the point of having a laptop if you have to have wires, I ask you!) and attempt to grab another hour’s worth of sleep before stumbling my way downstairs to meet Franciscan Friar Daniel Sulmasy and fellow students for an academic breakfast.

may you continue dancing, somewhere

life and living

The fabulous and glamourous Deborah Kerr has died, something I mention only because, personally, she’s one of those iconic images and memories that has had a lasting influence on me. Her roll in The King and I is always in the back of my mind whenever I step in front of a classroom to teach — the elegant, graceful teacher who delights in her students as much as they delight in her. (And, of course, her dancing with Yul Brynner.)

I’ve talked before on the things that have motivated me to become an academic, and it’s only been recently I’ve realized I have a several of these lingering images in my mind of what it seems like an academic should be. And while somewhat gawky and definitely uncoordinated me will never have Kerr’s grace (nor do I anticipate dancing with anyone I work with any time soon), I certainly have that sense of wondering delight when I have the opportunity to teach.

My mentor and advisor at the University of Washington, Phillip Thurtle, once told me that some people learn best by teaching others (and I was one of those people). And it’s true — it’s one thing to read and write and even talk casually about something with colleagues, but it’s another to see it reflected through and back in the eyes of those you teach it to. There is a magic and wonder to it that’s hard to describe, but all the folks I think of as excellent teachers seem to immediately know what I mean.

The BBC obit mentions another charming quirk of Kerr’s that I have apparently also either picked up, or simply think similarly on — I have that tendency to downplay success in favour of granting an awful lot of luck.

What we internalize unconsciously is truly a fascinating thing.

west coast culture

ASBH 2007, Bioethics

In DC and having a fabulous time so far. Have done none of the tourist things I had wanted to, but instead was responsible and did homework and laundry, and then napped in the afternoon. A fabulous dinner with S~, A~ and H~, and then we stumbled across just the right people with wine in the hotel bar – almost five hours later, I’m tumbling in to bed and remembering everything I love about what I do. I am very blessed to be where I am at this stage in life, and it would do me well to remember this when I think or feel otherwise.

Conventions

Bioethics

I’m off to DC in less than 36 hours, and of course have at least 72 hours of things to do in the intervening time. I almost feel like holding a contest to see what I’ll actually get done,…

I’m still feeling weirdly ambivalent about going. It’s a different role for me this year, and at a time when I’m just not feeling as on my game as I should be. I’m afraid I’m going to be a horrible disappointment for my boss, and let him down. Given all the faith and trust he’s placed in me, that would be rather devastating at this point. (Well, really at any point, but especially this point.)

I have plans one evening – four of us are going out to dinner, and then at least two of us dancing. I’m looking forward to that. I haven’t been out to eat at a nice restaurant in quite a while, so it should just be fun. That’s pre-conference, though. In the last week I’ve found out that two of the people I was most looking forward to seeing won’t be there, both for entirely valid reasons I support. But it’s still disappointing that neither will be there, and the UW contingent is going with a pallor over their heads.

I’m still finding my place, and it will be a few years before I have established rituals and people, and I’m okay with that. But I’m not okay with it at the same time; I know schedules and events (and from many people – I think no one realizes just how many people talk to me) and I’m just not the sort of person to insert myself into things. It took a law professor forcing me down an escalator to have one of the best night’s of last years convention, and I suspect it’s going to go about the same this time around.

I also realize I’m being mildly pessimistic, because life sort of is right now, and because I get nervous when I feel a lot of responsibility and room for major failure. I know I’ll calm down and center and be okay once everything gets rolling – it’s just the til then that I have to deal with being a slightly neurotic and sad basketcase.

bad day

life and living

Friday wanted to be a bad day, but my sense of responsibility forced me to work. Today got revenge, though – I think overall stress has just caught up to me. So I’ve stayed in my flannels, in bed, cuddling my cats. I just got around to eating – and warmed up some of the chicken noodle soup I was sent. Chicken noodle and matzoh ball!

What is it about this particular combination that makes it such comfort food? I wasn’t raised Jewish, had no Jewish friends when growing up, and yet… it’s the perfect comfort food.

So I’ll stay in bed, read, maybe watch TV, relax, and start over again tomorrow. With a belly full of warm soup, and a heart overflowing with love.