Intensity, that’s what I miss. I used to be driven by an inner sense of intensity, a purposefulness that I could draw on in times of need, that would spur me into doing what needed to be done. Now I don’t feel it and I don’t know how to draw on it. It has to be inside, somewhere. I have to still be able to pull out my passion, right? I almost feel like I’ve had a lobotomy, and so nothing stirs me to the depths of feeling I used to feel. I have to believe it’s still in there somewhere.
I don’t remember where I read this, but it so certainly and strongly rings true.
Of course, some of us feel things too intensely, as it were . . . don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t want to be numbed, but the intensity does cause more than a few problems, too.
Like the new format, BTW.
Thanks – the old format was boring me. Spring, time for change, etc.
And yeah, no, feeling too much sucks as much as feeling not at all. I think this is what we were talking about a few weeks ago – it’s not the extremes of feeling, it’s the lack of feeling. It’s not the depression or the passion or the extreme high or low, but the flat, affectless grey.
I’d rather take something that still was emotion rather than the just… English countryside fog of nothingness, any time.
No, I agree completely. Numbness is bad; feeling is first, like cummings said.