Life as an Extreme Sport

What I Did With My Saturday night

My Saturday night, in pictures:

A ticket to see Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood!

Why, what’s that piece of paper?

That looks kind of notecard shaped…

What does that say? Adulterous whore?

Yes, my front row, first chair seat got me several interesting experiences this evening. First, I was next to a very nice, very chatty young boy… who, when Brad asked for a third child of about the age he was, I very sneakily pointed to and got the kid on stage – to his parents delight (and gratitude), and the kids near-ecstacy. He got to be one of the three kids playing a version of “Change Line” – they honked the horn every time they wanted them to say something new. Brad nearly killed them – it was most fabulous.

Other awesome things were the game If Ya Know What I Mean, which is well-played when teaching someone how to play poker. Just imagine all the innuendo with Queens, hands, lows, beating men with hands,… they barely kept it together, and at one point, Brad just… went, breaking everyone up.

Sound Effects was also just incredible, with the girl doing the sound effects for Brad doing the sound effect for the megaphone… and saying something like “I need to remove this object from my anus.” Til then, she’d been doing fabulous sound effects – and then this. And it broke Brad. Hard. Colin was right behind, but managed to keep it together much more, and goad the girl to say more, and worse things. (They were chasing a sheep. Take your imagination where it wants to go – she did worse, I guarantee.)

I verified, for Brad, that indeed I could not see through the blindfold being used for mousetrap. He said something like I wouldn’t tell them if he could see, anyhow, and I asked why he said that – after all, it wouldn’t be nearly so funny if he could see what he was doing. He blinked, agreed, and then we watched them play The Most Dangerous Game in the World – barefoot, across the stage strewn with 100 mousetraps. But that’s not hard enough, so they also played the Alphabet Game, singing it opera-style, about nanotechnology.

I laughed so hard I needed my inhaler.

After the break, they collected our suggestions for the game Whose Line (“yes, Whose Line is it Anyway has a game called Whose Line – go figure!” ahem), and proceeded to run through them. The scenario was mountainclimbing in the Himalayas, searching for the rare Himalayan giraffe.

The above card was my suggestion. I cannot explain the smiley. I don’t know why I drew it, I just did. And oh, was I mocked. Brad drew my card, read it (attributing it to advice from his father), folded it into his pocket, pulled it back out, and noted how happy and optimistic his father was, showing everyone the smiley. And I folded over in laughter, and he stood over me: “Oh, I wonder who wrote this!” Since I was folded over laughing, I missed him handing the card down to me, but the kid next to me grabbed it and gave it back to me.

The rest of the show, they’d come back occasionally to make fun of me… including singing it in the show finale. Which was taped. They mentioned my being embarassed about being teased, standing over me and pointing grandly. It was awesome.

The last game played was Crime, in which Brad had to guess that he did the following:
while dressed in toe socks, velvet bellbottom overalls, and a cast iron jock strap, sold comic books illegally while giving a chicken steroids, in Chictawhaga (I’m spelling it phoenetically, and yes, Brad GUESSED this), where he left behind a raisin and a sticky bun.

I can’t believe the seat I had – I was maybe a foot from the stage. Colin walked out and stood right in front of me, making direct eye contact, winked, smiled, and was simply charming. Brad, once he’d centered in on me, made a lot of eye contact and faces my way the rest of the night. And since I kept reacting to his left field philosophy-esque jokes, he kept making them, and looking to me after each one to watch me crack up.

It was glorious. I had an amazing time. I’m so, so glad I went. I’m going to be chuckling quietly to myself for weeks.


  1. I’m going to use the comments for other things I want to remember…

    “We have to technologize the nanos!”

    …and watching Whose Line now is kind of weird, because I can go “hey! he looked at me like that!” and get all fuzzywarm inside (which is silly, but a nice visual memory to have).

  2. Oh yes, now I know what I’d wanted to remember. As I mentioned, they did the most dangerous game in the world, as the alphabet game starting with K, in opera, about nanotechnology…

    What amused the hell out of me was the following:

    They have it set up so that two assistants pull up a rope if they’re about to go off the stage and land in the laps of the front row, preventing unexpected lap dances (damn). So, Brad trips this rope, basically right in front of me… Colin happens to move forward and see the rope is up. He knows from where he is that Brad must be to his left, and also knows that Brad will have his fingers along the rope as he’s moving along, since the rope is still up… so he grabs a mousetrap and leaves it level with the rope and fingers, and starts moving silently towards Brad, who’s talking and moving towards Colin.

    As expected, fingers hit mousetrap, there is swearing, and much laughing. This was also about the point that Colin started pitching mousetraps with unerring accuracy (you know, I never did check that HIS blindfold was really blind) at Brad, and finally just took his blindfold off and started walking around clipping live mousetraps to Brad – who took a surprising amount of time to clue in that’s what Colin was doing.

Comments are closed.