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The More You Wonder Why – Life as an Extreme Sport
Life as an Extreme Sport

The More You Wonder Why

… it isn’t what she talks about it’s just the way she is…

I’m a solitary beast, and I’ve been feeling it lately. It’s not The Swede, or anyone elses fault. Just sometimes, I feel the need to run freely and without consequence, to do what I want when and without feeling weighed or tied. And for this very reason, I only seem to be able to tolerate being around other humans for short periods of time. I think the person with the longest tolerance time is Mars, at somewhere around three weeks. The Swede did well, he came in around 10 days or so. Jenna is a good solid 3 days, and most everyone else is just a few hours.

… happiness is never how you think it should be so…

I have, however, been feeling those 10 days. And this is of course to say absolutely nothing bad about The Swede. I know I’ve been short in what I say about him; mostly because I don’t really know what to say. He’s wonderful, and has been wonderful from the moment he got here. I’ve been laughing more than ever, and generally having a good time. Is it instant bliss, together forever and ever? Of course not – only movies are like that, and there have been rough spots simply because there will always be rough spots. But, for the most part, he’s warm and cuddly and kind, and I certainly don’t want him to leave.

Unless I’m in one of these moods, where an H-Bomb sounds like a good solution to all my anti-people feelings. It’s just needing Kellytime/creative time, and less around-people-every-second time.

… she saw the symptoms right away and spoke to me in poetry…

One thing I noticed this week was the intense need to create, both physical objects and poetry. (I need a studio, where I can get messy and not worry about it being in the way come morning.) I’m working on something new, something I would actually like to turn into lyrics, but it’s still In Progress. The most annoying thing was to have it come to mind right before the Duncan Sheik concert started, and having no pen to write on myself with. Still, the thought has managed to stay with me relatively well. I’ll post it when I’m done, and link to it.

I’ve been wanting to get more into three dimensional artwork, as well. I had the urge to buy a window (of all things) at Home Depot the other day, and distress/paint it. Why? No clue, but I figured it was probably something I could sell. I think I might try it (when I have a bit more in the finances department), and either see if I can sell it around here or (more likely) on eBay. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to support myself solely thru writing or artwork, but I might as well see what I can do, right? I’ll never find out if I don’t attempt…

… and she becomes so serious what she chose to offer you was all that you could have…

I’ve been thinking about polyamory a lot lately, partly because it’s been (sort of) in the news, and partly because I find myself in love with two men. It’s sort of funny, isn’t it, how things work themselves around in circles like that.

… (and she says) ooh darlin don’t you know…