… and I’m haunted by the promises I’ve made and others I have broken…
I had an entry, mostly written in my head. There are many things you can compose while you’re sitting, sobbing, in traffic.
Jenna and I spoke this morning, at breakfast. She gave me a lot to think about. She flat out called me stubborn (big surprise), but she finally told me some things, and made me look at situations with a perspective outside of my own. That I was being stubborn, that I was trying and being hurtful, that my pride was tripping me up, that I wasn’t being flexible when I needed to be, and prove it.
That he enjoyed seeing me again.
… I’ll always want you…
I had this entry set in my head. About how she was right, and how I was being stubborn and hurtful because I was hurting and angry and scared and so many other things. I had a lot of time to think – traffic was bad, there were accidents.
… I’ll always need you…
Although I had been crying for most of the drive home, I was feeling oddly optomistic. Jenna was, as usual, right. I was being all these things and ways, and how silly and stupid. Yes, fear is there, but fear is a part of life. So is risk.
I had a question. That’s why I called. I wanted to know where they were posted, you see.
… I’ll always love you and I will always miss you…
Mars filed for divorce on May 11, 2001.