Life as an Extreme Sport

Updates and Flesh

life and living

I spent some time updating and fleshing out the website tonight. Apologies for weirdly out of sequence posts on the RSS feed – everything has been housed in its proper place now.

I’m tired. I’ve had about 5 hours of sleep since Saturday night, and only 90 minutes of that was last night. It’s also been an emotionally draining couple of days, culminating in a conversation that terrified me to have. I had it, I admitted being afraid of and about things, and the world didn’t end. Well, maybe. The problem I have is, anything seems off for the next, oh, forever (or at least few days, until talking/seeing/being happens again), I’ll be horrifically paranoid and convinced I screwed everything up.

I’d say I have issues, but really, I have subscriptions. I was reading things I wrote from 2001 tonight, and able to see a lot of them – nothing new, but just seeing how long they’ve been around, that they’re still around. Well.

I haven’t had much sleep, so I know I’m thinking a lot less of myself right now than I should. But at the moment, I feel like nothing much more than a very tired, overworked, basketcase who should be kept away from most of society. Instead, I’m going to take a nap and then write a paper on the philosophy of pain management.

untitled 2

erato

his hands flicked
and pushed
made their way into her unwilling body
as she crawled inside her head and begged him silently to hurry up,
go away
finish
die

Marionette

erato

… and he threw her across the room, and she crumpled against the dresser
a marionette with her strings cut
before she could think of raising her limp body off the floor, he was on her again
this time tossing her thru the air with such ease.

A cat playing with a toy, a mouse.

Powerless in his hands, she flew through the air and landed in a puddle,
unmoving in defeat.

Six Numbers and Three Words

wisdom and folly

“Just six numbers determine the essential features of the physical cosmos. If any one of them were untuned there would be no stars and no life.” Before you speak the waves part a part of you into sparkles into particles of light. Before you speak the language of light let there be words. Before you measure or mistake what you see when your heart is full and breaking with a miracle; some thing need to be believed to be seen and the meaning is never any greater than the three words: I love you.

-Martin Rees, Sylvia Tosun

Black Crayon Crowd

a-musing, life and living

I’ve decided to ‘compete’ with a friend for the coveted Black Crayon Award, and post some of my poetry/lyrical stuff online. Just the stuff I like, of course. And feedback is always welcome – whether I’ll continue writing new stuff in the coming months is up in the air, but I’m trying to flesh out this website with a more well-rounded version of me. This includes filling in post-history with prior blogs, and adding more original writing.

Anyhow, you should feel free to comment on anything, of course. I reserve all rights to refuse to take your advice, though. Spoiled writers with delusions of grandeur are like that.