Category: life and living

Mike Ford was one of the first “famous” people I “met” online – we would routinely chitchat, aeons ago, in a Neil Gaiman fan board, back before Neil was really big, and it was possible for him to participate in those sorts of things. At first, I didn’t put together that Mike Ford was the same person as the great, funny author of some of my favourite books, including my hands down favourite Star Trek book, How Much For Just the Planet. He was just this nice, friendly guy who didn’t mind a newbie around, and was funny and friendly and answered all the newbie questions.

The day Neil put two and two together for me was one of lots of small fireworks, as my brain overloaded on the knowledge that I’d been so casually chatting with someone I so admired. But it was also the first time, I think, that I stepped into the person I am today – who still gets tongue-tied at the thought of meeting and chatting with people she admires, but when she does it, manages to be confident and charming. I credit a lot of that to Mike.

I’d always hoped to be able to tell him that. It’s not one of those things that ever came up; the internet got big, Neil got bigger, and the little chatting area faded away. But the things we talked about stuck with me, from talking to famous people to writing silly poetry and parodies of our favourite works. I just assumed that one day I’d stumble across him, again, online, or we’d finally bump into one another at a convention, and I could shyly but confidently say thank you, and why.

And now I never will. Rest in peace, Mike.

It’s been humid for much of the day, culminating in thunderstorms – brilliant, fast downpours interspersed with humid, muggy sunshine, then shut down with lightning. Rinse and repeat; I suppose right now is a rinse period, as it’s downpouring and from the signs isn’t stopping soon.

I’m all over the map right now. I can be happy and excited one moment, and the next want to do nothing more than tuck in a corner, close my eyes, and wish my way home. A lot of this is a function of not having the best pain managment going – which should ease out in a few days of consistent medicine-taking. But it’s also the new kid in town thing – hard to meet people, and takes time. I really sort of have the advantage in this one, as I’m not the only new person in the department. I do appear to be the only one who moved here alone, though. Still – everyone has been very nice, chatty, and going out of their way to make me at home. I’m lucky to be here, and am not regretting it a moment.

Still, it’s hard not to have a day like this and be wistful for hills, Seattle’s Best, QFC, Jesus Christ Making Seattle Under Protest, markets and flowers and most of all, my friends.

This is the view out my window when laying down in bed. The link will take you to the rest of the messy, still unpacking, I’ll be unpacking until eternity, apartment. I’m quite taken with the place…

Suggestions for things I need?

I’m emptying my suitcase, to better pack for the upcoming trip. It ended up being filled with random and assorted things that had not found their way anywhere else…

…two frogs and a squeaky turtle, things I’ve been meaning to send to Deb for years. Maybe I’ll do that today, when I go by the post office. Pretty certain I still have her address around here somewhere…

…two bags of tea from The Fairmont, along with the receipt, and a ticket from Lush telling me what day my facial and massage was, from when I visited Michael in Victoria…

…a letter from Lisa, thanking me for being her friend…

…stamp cards for espresso at the on-campus Tully’s, along with several other rewards cards. Maybe I’ll send them to the CHID department and let them decide what to do with them.

…hair ties made by Christi…

…fig hand lotion from Cynthia, a gift she gave me at Megan and Tom’s wedding, remembering for over a year how much I loved the scent on her…

…nail polish from Jessica’s apartment, and a necklace of hers that Stax gave me recently,…

As I tossed and turned last night, I thought about how Albany has been pulling me, strongly, growing stronger since I visited and accepted. I thought about how Seattle is a memory, virtual distance increasing daily, fading in its intensity. About how removed I feel from everyone’s daily life, how I have so little contact with people I used to interact with frequently.

Everything is made to be broken, cliche’s abound, and nothing lasts forever. Yet I sit to unpack and repack, and I cannot escape how the threads of the tapestry of my life are the individual strands of each of you, strands that pull and stretch, but are far from being cut, and will forever inform the colours of the clothe I am.

…and I thought what I felt was simple, and I thought that I don’t belong, and now that I am leaving, now I know that I did something wrong cuz I missed you, yeah yeah I missed you…

I miss you.