A requirement for papers, at one point in my academic career, was a short bio at the end, a la what you would see in some journals. This was a handy practical writing experience, since it prepared me for the bios you need to write during conference paper submissions.
Anyhow, I got bored with writing them after a while, and started asking friends to write silly ones for me. I just stumbled across this one, which Michael wrote for me back in Sept of 2005, for my Metroblogging profile.
Kelly Hills once wandered the globe as part of a circus acrobatic act. After a brief affair with the Strong Man, she left for greener pastures – also known as Seattle. Here she keeps secret her former life of glitter and scandal while trying to maintain an image of respectability. But we know Kelly! WE KNOW!