Life as an Extreme Sport

10-5, Reflection

1) 10 years ago what did you think you would be doing now?
Wow, what a surprisingly difficult question to answer. Ten years ago I was 19, almost 20. I would have been working at Apple Computer, living in Fremont, California. I was in a very bad relationship, and had been for several years, and didn’t see a way out of it. I basically thought I was stuck in the situation I was in and always would be, and was trying to make the best of it. I was still a year away from having enough courage and support to actually just pick up and drive away with the clothes on my back.

I guess I didn’t have dreams of the future, really. I had a future I was told, and in it, at this point, I would have been a mother several times over, and very likely a stay at home mom. Weird to think about, really. And I bet many of you boggle at the idea of me being a mother. *laughs*

2) Where do you think you will be in 5 years from now?
I will be in a PhD graduate program. I don’t know where, or precisely what I’ll be studying, but I will be in graduate school. It might take me longer than I wanted to get there, but I will get there.

3) Do you live life one day at a time or look to the future.
A little of both, I guess. As a Buddhist, I value living in the now, but as a realist, I know you have to look forward and plan life. The trick is to make sure that the looking forward is acknowledged as such, and that I don’t live my life in the future, I merely plan for it while living in the now.

Does that make sense?

4) Do you wish you could go back in time and undo something in your life?
No. I’ve worked very hard to live a life where I have no regrets. Maybe more precisely, I’ve worked very hard to reach a mindset that values the experiences I’ve had that have shaped who I am. The big step there was deciding to like myself, and to realize that if I liked who I am, that means I have to value what has happened to me, because it’s those experiences who make me who I am now.

5) If you could send a message back in time and give a younger version of yourself some advice, what would it be?
I wouldn’t. See the answer to question four.