I’ve had several requests to update this journal recently; so here. I apologize for the delay… I don’t have constant net access here, and am hesitant to buy an ethernet card for my laptop until I know if I’ll be working for the same company in a month. (Yes, the job search continues.)
I’ve also been doing a lot of thinking lately, about how and why and what I want to say in this journal. When I started writing this, it was an outlet for me, a way to vent and release stress and need and longing. I let a few people close to me read it, so they would understand what I was doing and going through. Then I let a few more people, and a few more… now I have at least a dozen regular readers, probably a bit more. People who are forming thoughts and opinions of the people I talk about in this journal, often without meeting or really knowing these people I talk about.
This leaves me in an interesting position; do I watch more carefully what I say, to insure I present a full and balanced viewpoint to my readers, or do I continue to do what I have been, writing a snapshot of my life and what I feel at that moment, with the assumption that everyone reading this knows that is what they are reading.
I want to stay with the later format, but I am concerned that people might not be taking what I write as what it is – the small slice of my life that is being written about because something prompted the writing. Sorrow, anger, hurt, joy, elation – all moods that spark writing, and all moods that my writing filters through.
Honestly, as I sit here drinking a Passion Pear (new drink alert! new drink alert!) and listening to Rasputina murmur from the speakers, I realize I don’t have much choice; I write what is written because that is what wants to be written. I have to trust that you, the reader, will contact me if you’re confused or in need of clarification, concerned or happy or anything else. Equally so, you the reader needs to have a bit of faith in me, my judgement and abilities in selecting friends and lovers, and perhaps most of all need to keep in mind that this entire effort is only a small, visible slice of a very busy life.