Life as an Extreme Sport

fading in to flat

I’m tired.

I feel like I have to preface anything I say with that. I’ve shifted back to what some of my friends refer to as “Kelly Standard Time”; my own, insomnia driven “sleep” (I use the word ever so lightly) schedule. Drugs can sort of make me sleep, but not really, anymore.

And so I’m tired. The tiredness feeds in to all sorts of negative things, and this Friday night, as I get ready to chemically fall asleep before midnight, I find that I feel hollow. A shell with strings, going through the motions. A single ship in the sea, a solitary star in the sky…how many phrases can I come up with to creatively say I feel forgotten by friends and colleagues, that I feel alone? Probably quite a few, and it’s illogical – I know it’s illogical!

Feelings aren’t terribly logical, are they? I would have made an awful Vulcan.

I’m tired.