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Comments on: Blaming the Victim in Domestic Violence
https://www.kellyhills.com/blaming-the-victim-in-domestic-violence/
"the hardest thing in this world is to live in it"Thu, 05 Sep 2013 20:21:12 +0000
hourly
1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.6
By: shellfire
https://www.kellyhills.com/blaming-the-victim-in-domestic-violence/#comment-269226
Thu, 05 Sep 2013 20:21:12 +0000http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=40741#comment-269226I found your post because I googled the question “Why do people like to blame the victim”? And this post popped up…you nailed it on the head, exactly everything I have been thinking and struggling with. You said it perfectly what I’ve been trying to put to words. I have been abused and ultimately attacked and almost killed by a previous boyfriend. Was terrorized for months while living with him and trying to get him out of my life. Everyday was like I had to figure out how to survive this and get out alive. I knew that I was in trouble with this person because he wasn’t like normal people, people with boundaries. What I went through was difficult for sure, but what is almost even worse is that when you talk to people about it, often times your own family, they don’t understand. They blame the victim I think because they can’t live with the reality that they too may encounter a monster one day, that they are fallible, susceptible, just as you and I were. Every time someone tries to put the blame back on me its like I’m being re victimized all over again. And in many ways it stunts the healing process. Which has been a long and difficult one. I am by no means a perfect person, have made plenty of mistakes and wasn’t the perfect girlfriend…but I didn’t know that it was a requirement to be perfect or else anytime something happens to you than you are to blame….I don’t know about you but when I look around I don’t see anyone who hasn’t made mistakes in their lives or bad decisions, but does that give anyone the right to beat you, abuse you and almost kill you? I used to blame myself, every victim of violence does at some point, its part of the normal healing process, the range of emotions that we “normal” humans feel, but I no longer blame me for making a mistake in judgment of someone’s character. If people would just acknowledge the realities of this world and the craziness in it, and maybe educate themselves to truly understand the dynamics of domestic violence, or any violent acts and the effects on the victims then maybe our society could begin to reach out and help the people that are in these situations to successfully get out alive…and to not turn a blind eye to what’s right in their face because they simply don’t want to see it. I’m not angry in anything I’m saying, but I feel its important for all of us to start to speak out and try to prevent this from going on all around us. Its our little girls that are next in line…one out of four. Thank you for your post, it is very well written.
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