Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MWP_EventListener_PublicRequest_SetHitCounter::$requestStack is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 53

Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property MWP_Worker_Kernel::$responseCallback is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/Worker/Kernel.php on line 38

Deprecated: base64_decode(): Passing null to parameter #1 ($string) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/Worker/Request.php on line 198

Deprecated: Optional parameter $args declared before required parameter $cookies is implicitly treated as a required parameter in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/collapsing-categories/collapscat.php on line 123

Deprecated: Using ${var} in strings is deprecated, use {$var} instead in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/collapsing-categories/collapscatwidget.php on line 38

Deprecated: Using ${var} in strings is deprecated, use {$var} instead in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/collapsing-categories/collapscatwidget.php on line 40

Deprecated: Using ${var} in strings is deprecated, use {$var} instead in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/better-wp-security/core/modules/core/class-itsec-admin-notices.php on line 141

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Deprecated: preg_match(): Passing null to parameter #2 ($subject) of type string is deprecated in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php on line 113

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-content/plugins/worker/src/MWP/EventListener/PublicRequest/SetHitCounter.php:53) in /home/dh_wy9y3p/kellyhills.com/wp-includes/feed-rss2-comments.php on line 8
Comments on: A Primer on Apologies https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/ "the hardest thing in this world is to live in it" Sun, 22 Oct 2017 06:14:55 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.6 By: Kelly https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-5/#comment-737562 Wed, 02 Sep 2015 20:18:56 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-737562 In reply to Lanie.

Heya Lanie,
Sorry to take a year on to approve this comment, but it was lost in a spam oubliette for some reason. Anyhow, no, they never did address remedies—few folks do, though. And yes, of course it’s about re-establishing trust—but there are some pretty tried and true routines that help get that back, and going through the basics of a good apology help. Well, assuming it’s not the first time you’ve made that particular mistake.

]]>
By: Mike Daisey and a Redemption of Chances | Life as an Extreme Sport https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-5/#comment-298509 Thu, 19 Jun 2014 19:29:34 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-298509 […] apology: recognition, responsibility, remorse/regret, and remedy (which I’ve written about here.) At the same time, I do know that I’m not impressed by how his website glosses over the […]

]]>
By: Lanie https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-5/#comment-271937 Sat, 15 Feb 2014 15:29:14 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271937 From a month later— have they addressed your point number 4 yet, Remedy?

I can see how point #4 could take longer than points #1 – #3. In order to make a convincing presentation of how they are going to prevent this in the future (i.e., something better than “We promise this won’t happen again!”), they would have to spend some time discussing how it happened in the first place, who makes what decisions, the existing process of review and how it was insufficient, and so forth.

So in the meantime, they had a choice between (1) saying nothing at all while they do that, and (2) getting something out quickly.

Neither solution is perfect: the first option would have drawn ire (“Omg they’re refusing to address it!”), and the second option drew the ire it actually drew.

My own observations about apologies is that while some are certainly better than others, vanishingly few of them are fully satisfactory to the people calling for the apology. I suspect that if or when they address point #4, it will be received in a manner that boils down to “Well…we’ll see what happens.”

Apologies are tricky – so is accepting apologies. As you point out, the fact that something happened in the first place means that trust has been damaged. The best repair for that is establishing a track record of trustworthiness from a new, post-offense starting line. That obviously takes just plain old time.

]]>
By: Let’s Quarantine the Nature Publishing Group | The Broken Spoke https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-5/#comment-271460 Fri, 24 Jan 2014 01:54:32 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271460 […] but at least ticked some of the relevant boxes for an appropriate apology, as outlined by Hills. The “statement” regarding Gee’s actions by NPG””to say nothing of Gee’s own […]

]]>
By: Is it Nature or is it Henry Gee? science’s woman wars continue (or start up again) | FrogHeart https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-5/#comment-271409 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 21:53:13 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271409 […] Hills writes about the letter and Nature’s apology in a Jan. 17, 2014 posting on her Life As An Extreme Sport blog (Note: Links have been […]

]]>
By: DrJudyStone https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-5/#comment-271363 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 15:22:49 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271363 RT @thinkalot: Love it-should remember it… @virginiahughes:The four Rs of a good apology. useful for any human: http://t.co/uGg4SV475i by…

]]>
By: StephanMCameron https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-5/#comment-271364 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 15:07:44 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271364 @RMSnider @NatureNews @mathematigal Another well-written blog entry about the Nature apology by @rocza http://t.co/Ra4gRUmVqj

]]>
By: neva9257 https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-4/#comment-271365 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 12:20:34 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271365 RT @virginiahughes: The four Rs of a good apology. useful for any human: http://t.co/Lx33DYNxwp by @rocza

]]>
By: Geoff3P https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-4/#comment-271366 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 11:14:32 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271366 RT @virginiahughes: The four Rs of a good apology. useful for any human: http://t.co/Lx33DYNxwp by @rocza

]]>
By: dgkimpton https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-4/#comment-271367 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 06:30:11 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271367 RT @virginiahughes: The four Rs of a good apology. useful for any human: http://t.co/Lx33DYNxwp by @rocza

]]>
By: thinkalot https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-4/#comment-271368 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 04:38:03 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271368 Love it-should remember it… @virginiahughes:The four Rs of a good apology. useful for any human: http://t.co/uGg4SV475i by @rocza

]]>
By: Nebula63 https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-4/#comment-271369 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 04:33:35 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271369 RT @virginiahughes: The four Rs of a good apology. useful for any human: http://t.co/Lx33DYNxwp by @rocza

]]>
By: docfreeride https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-4/#comment-271370 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 04:32:16 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271370 RT @virginiahughes: The four Rs of a good apology. useful for any human: http://t.co/Lx33DYNxwp by @rocza

]]>
By: virginiahughes https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-4/#comment-271371 Tue, 21 Jan 2014 04:29:25 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271371 The four Rs of a good apology. useful for any human: http://t.co/Lx33DYNxwp by @rocza

]]>
By: Life as an Extreme Sport » Blog Archive » Editing Bill Simmons’ Apology to Make a Point About Apologies https://www.kellyhills.com/a-primer-on-apologies/comment-page-4/#comment-271324 Mon, 20 Jan 2014 23:48:01 +0000 http://www.kellyhills.com/blog/?p=60454#comment-271324 […] I wrote up on Friday, there are four steps to an apology: Recognition, Responsibility, Remorse/Regret, Remedy. […]

]]>