Life as an Extreme Sport

Blue Skies

This has been on my mind for a few days, but a close friend really drove the point home this morning. She wondered what point there is to ‘good’ when everything seems so damned negative… For the last few days, I’ve been reflecting on how much I can focus on the negative, and what I don’t like or am unhappy about; I so often forget to share the positive. (It’s kind of like the evening news; who cares if it’s a good story, show us the blood and gore!) Maybe if we all spent even just a few minutes out of every day reflecting on the positive in our lives, the negatives would seem less negative – it’s certainly a nice idea. Better yet, we should spend that time vocalizing it to the people we are about. And, at the moment, it’s an idea I’d like to try. After all,

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Sheets

It’s been strange. I really didn’t think of you at all last week; in fact, the only time you came to mind was when I realized that I hadn’t been thinking of you. I guess that’s the blessing of staying busy – and have I ever. Work takes the usual ton of my time, and I’m working on improving my social life. Not in great leaps and bounds, but I went to the movies with David and Diana (gaming buddies) Friday evening, and that was fun. Add dinner with the NetCfg folks a few nights last week, and gaming on Saturday, and it was a busy week. Unfortunately, stressful as well. Friday was particularily bad; I actually went and got a bit drunk to take the edge off of dealing with Krishna – as William said today, there is a problem if I have to medicate myself to deal with

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Kicked While I’m Down

I can’t help gasping for air, I feel like I’ve been kicked in the chest. Every time I close my eyes vivid memories stream like movie reels, reminding me of you. Scrolling back to the first time we met, the first time we touched, we kissed, we made love. Standing in the doorway of Allisons guest room, sky and room lit by a full silver moon, turning your pale skin to alabaster. Graceful as a cat you removed your clothes, and I fell out of mine and into you. Memories from so long ago, so vivid. It could have been yesterday. I can still taste your lips – you always tasted like fresh fruit to me. I can feel your skin under my hands. I can feel your body against mine, breathing in tandem. It hurts. Why did you throw this all away?

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Day One

Dear Mars, Yesterday was interesting. Day one, I suppose you could call it, of my ‘getting over’ you. For the first time in my life, I have been able to identify with what an addict must go thru during withdrawal. The day was not a matter of just working, it was a conscious effort to get through every minute, every hour, without calling or writing you. There is peace, however. Something I’ve not felt in a while – life has settled a bit, I suppose. I’m no longer wondering what will happen, and when. It’s a bit like having had your wisdom teeth out – something that was such an intimate part of your every day life is gone, and there is a gaping hole, yet at the same time there is a huge relief of pressure. (Perhaps a bad analogy.) I don’t want to mislead you into thinking my

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When You Have A Quiet Moment…

Mars, Well, six hours. I was hoping for at least twenty four. I’d make a self deprecating comment about my lack of will power, except I think I have a valid reason for writing. I hope you’ll at least hear me out. If not… well, I understand. I’ve been trying, pretty much since the day we saw it, to live life by the Rent credo. “There’s only us. There’s only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today.” It goes quite well with the other truth in life I try to live by – never leave angry, you might never see the person again. I’m afraid I’ve not been living by either one very well. Although I agree with the Rent credo (living in either the past or the future alone is bad), I don’t think it’s possible to

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