I know I’ve been telling individual people that I would “be writing tonight, honest!” for a few days now, and all I can really do is apologize for not having done so. My life has gotten a lot busier than I ever imagined it could be, and writing has fallen a bit by the wayside.
I suppose it’s more than that, tho. I’ve not had the urge to write or pour my thoughts out – occasionally I hear something, think of something that I think would be worth writing down, but it’s either something that I continue to remember on my own, or I think less of later on. (One exception – Mars and I were having dinner one night, and I asked him how he was feeling. His response? “Inevitable.”) Mars has stopped writing in his journal/log, citing a lack of things to say. I don’t think that I so much have a lack of things to say, as I have a lack of need to say. It would bother me if he and I stopped writing at the same time because ‘we have each other again,’ so I sit and hope my lack of wanting to write stems from something else.
I did want to write briefly about two things. The first: I will be in Yosemite (or doing the driving to/there) from July 20 – 25. Therefore it will be impossible for me to post anything here.
Why Yosemite? Mars’ family has been going hiking there for years, and are doing so again. This is the last “big family gathering” planned for a while; Melissa is going back east to law school for the next three years, and her availability is somewhat in question. Tuesday morning, Deborah (Mars’ mother) called and asked Mars if I would like to join them. I thought this would be a bad idea, seeing his family again so soon. (Soon being relative, it’s been two months. Two months – can you believe that?) I declined to Mars, and went to work. All the drive to work, I could think of nothing else. When I got in, I asked for the time off… and it was granted, much to my surprise. Perhaps more surprising was Mars’ enthusiasm for having me along. All thru ‘the first time,’ he avoided taking me to Yosemite – it was his special place, and not a place he wanted to ‘taint’ with he and I fighting. This time around, he’s excited about me going. He thinks it’s a good time for me to get to know his family again, on neutral territory. He thinks the work of hiking will prevent a lot of talking, but also provide a bonding point between them and I.
He wants to show me Yosemite.
I don’t think I can tell you how much that thought means to me. …
The other thing I wanted to mention was last night. We went dancing, which is sort of the norm for Wednesday night. It’s goth night at The Vogue, and we both know the DJ, who is very kind and accomodating, gives great hugs, pops backs and plays lots of requests. Last night I hounded Doug; play Cirque, play Tori-covers, play play play … and mostly “play As The World Falls Down” (from Labyrinth). Finally, laughing, he capitulated, and told me it would be the closing song. Closing? 2am? Dear god… but we stayed. And it was just Mars and I dancing, an odd improv ballroom dance to a beautiful romantic song. The crowd watched us, we watched each other (at least until Doug placed a spot on us, eek!)… it was an enchanting and magical end to the day.