Life as an Extreme Sport

trust bound

Sunday night, sitting here along with my beer and thoughts, wind howling outside, occasionally gusting snow against the window with some vengeance. Light comedy on the television, but I wonder if something more sober, or at least darker, might not be more appropriate. It’s not that I’m feeling particularly bad, or even dark and twisty, but I am feeling introspective. It’s been a very long week, a week of chaos, and mistakes on my part. I knew the chaos was coming, and mistakes were inevitable, but I still don’t like either…well, the mistakes, anyhow. I suspect I actually might thrive on chaos. I’ve been called out on some personality traits, and it was a fair calling out, but it’s still an uncomfortable thing. I realized, talking to Jen earlier today, that it’s been a while since anyone has gotten in my face (nicely or otherwise) and thrown me back at

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Absent

Well, I’m largely done with the Summer Institute. As usual, I didn’t write here as much as I wanted to. Seemed my voice always got stuck in my throat (or would that be my fingers?). Regardless,… Anyhow, I’ll get the stuff from the SI up soon (my project, that is). I also need to finish the MHE class, as well as CHID 390. But til school starts again, I’m going to give this a rest, unless something brilliant crosses my mind, or eyes. See ya Sept 30th, whence once again I shall try to comment daily on the life of a student.

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trust/time relation

trust and time are intimately linked. one cannot exist without the other. time is a construct. all that exists is now, the present. we are always in the present, passing through it. we never reach the future, and the past is always behind us. we build trust, and make the decision to trust, based on experiences – events – from our past. these singular events allow us to look at the seemingly endless options in front of us and narrow them down; trust becomes a filter that allows us to make decisions. in the network of life, trust gives us a way of managing what would be incomprehensible. when trust is broken, our options become limitless, and we are paralized, not in fear, but in choice. we have no way of narrowing down the potentiality of an event/situation without the ability to trust. but we trust – or not –

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Party of the Season!

Oh, last night was fun, and not in the “I drank too much” way – I had a single glass of wine early in the evening, then stuck to Hansen sodas. But Phillip BBQ’d an amazing array of corn, salmon, burgers, potatos, and so on, people brought amazing food and drinks, and best of all, we watched the sun set atop the Olympics and the water from various places across the balcony. I spent pleasent time talking with Eleanor, John’s wife, as well as goofing off with John. Uma, Phillip’s wife was there, and it was lovely to talk with her, also – she’s a wonderfully sweet woman. I also found out who else will be PFing with me this fall, and I can say with assurances that we’re going to have a seriously kickass class, as well as less work for me since there are a total of four

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realization

This has been nagging me for a bit, but I wasn’t able to formalize just what has been bothering me until now, and it is this: I’ve taken a wrong tact with the Summer Institute project, I’ve been projecting my issues outside when it needs to be internal. It’s not about him, what he did, but about me and how I’ve reacted, and how I’m cognicent of not liking how I’ve reacted. This necessitates some change in approach, but the concept is still sound. And better, the concept lets me really tackle what Brian and I were talking about last week. You see, last year’s SI theme was tragedy, trauma, and they really saw how hard it was for the people involved. Brian wanted to do something different, he wanted to do hope. But hope was nixed as cheesy, so they dressed it up in something pretty and resold it.

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