Life as an Extreme Sport

Burning Tears in My Eyes

Anyone who’s seen me lately has probably seen my red, watery eyes and sniffling nose. They’ve probably thought it’s just allergies, but it’s not. The girl who never cries has been failing at holding back tears for going on weeks. And it’s not because I’m sad. It’s because I’m happy. I’m more than happy, I’m in awe. I’m going to be graduating in the top 5% of my class in June, an achievement recognized by a lot of various honours and awards. I have been funded for a year straight in my research by the Gates Foundation, and I have been accepted to my dream graduate program. That I’m even making it to graduation has me in awe, the rest is icing. Because for better or worse, my idea of myself has been formed around the only two long term relationships I have had, both of which ended with the

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Lend Your Lungs to Me

Eating is a strange thing for me, in that I rarely feel hunger, but when I do, I’m ravenous. (And this was prior to taking opioids, which have made the situation even worse.) One of the things that this leads to, aside from never eating, is eating badly. Hence, chunky me! So this week, I’m trying to get into better eating habits, amongst other things. That means learning how to eat properly. I’m not terribly interested in dieting, for several reasons, but I don’t thinkk that eating properly need equate dieting. But my tummy is looking at the food in front of me (peaches, half a large muffin, a hardboiled egg, coffee) and says “well, can I have the coffee and skip the rest?” Sadly, the answer is no. I spent a good chunk of yesterday virtually investigating Albany: asking questions on Albany-related LiveJournal communities, poking around newspapers and Craigslist.

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Changes

I made a long and somewhat rambling post to a LiveJournal I keep (largely for commenting in friends posts), talking loosely about friends and moving. It’s still on my mind, not the least for which it being largely uncommented upon by the people who saw it. This is not surprising – what do you say to someone saying things like “we never see each other, so will moving 3000 miles away really change anything about our relationship?” But I do think it’s interesting how segmented my life has become. I have my academic friends, and then the non-academic friends. They rarely mix or mingle, when they do get thrown together, it’s awkward. (I’m already wincing at the idea of my graduation…) I see many of those academic friends several times a week, where I see the non-academic friends once a month if I’m very lucky. Some of the people I

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